Philos, It’s a God Thing
In 1985 I performed the wedding for a lovely young couple. Through the years, we have stayed connected. Thirty years later, I was privileged to have lunch with them in their home along with one of their grown children and two mutual friends. It was a delightful experience. I was blessed.
All too often pastor-parishioner relationships are brief. Sometimes it is intentionally so; there is no reason or desire to continue. At other times, the event demands brevity like encounters in a reception line. Circumstances may demand that people move on to other places and other things. And, of course, death often shortens the relationship; for instance, the wife mentioned earlier passed away several years ago.
Given the brevity of these experiences, it is common for pastors to wonder if they have accomplished anything. An architect can point to a building and say, “That’s my work.” A surgeon can see a healed patient and be proud of what he/she accomplished. Ministers must often just hope and pray they have done some good.
Occasionally, like the lunch mentioned earlier, you get a chance to spend meaningful time with past parishioners. That is always pleasant; and you realize that quietly, invisibly your friendship has grown. As I sat at their table, we recounted old stories that we all knew and new tales to bring us up to date. I was proud to have had a small part in bringing this couple’s lives together and thankful to have been a tiny blessing in their lives.
Mart De Haan tells the story of two girls who became international friends, Nadia of Bulgaria and Millicent of the United States. Though separated by many miles, they kept in touch. Then, political upheaval prevented all their communication. After 48 years and political changes, they were finally able to meet at Miami International Airport where Millicent exclaimed, “Nadia! I would know you anywhere.”
One thing that intrigues me about experiences like this and my luncheon experience is how the heart grows fonder without our knowing it. The Greek language, the language of the New Testament, has a word that describes this invisible growth of friendship. The word is philos, meaning love of or for a friend, brotherly love.
It’s a good thing. It’s a God thing. “A friend loves like a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
